Divine
Mercy
In
my soul
The Diary
of the Servant of God
Sister M. Faustina Kowalska
Perpetually Professed member
of the
Congregation of Sisters of
Our Lady of Mercy
J.M.J.
Praise,
O my soul,
The
incomprehensible mercy of God.
May
all be for His glory.
Cracow,
February 10, 1938.
Sixth
Notebook.
Sister
Faustina of the Blessed Sacrament
Of
the Congregation
Of
the sisters of Our Lady of Mercy.
My
heart is drawn there where my God is hidden,
Where
He dwells with us day and night,
Clothed
in the White Host;
He
governs the whole world, He communes with souls.
My
heart is drawn there where my God is hiding,
Where
His love is immolated.
But
my heart senses that the living water is here;
It
is my living God, though a veil hides Him.
February
10, 1938. During meditation, the Lord gave me knowledge of the joy of heaven
and of the saints on our arrival there; they love God as the sole object of
their love, but they also have a tender and heartfelt love for us. It is from
the face of God that this joy flows out upon all, because we see Him face to
face. His face is so sweet that the soul falls anew into ecstasy.
The
Lord himself moves me to write prayers and hymns about His mercy, and these
hymns of praise force themselves upon my lips. I have noticed that ready
formulated words of praise of God’s mercy enter my mind, and so I have resolved
to write them down in so far as is within my power. I can feel God urging me to
do so.
One
of the sisters came into my cell for a little while. After a short conversation
on the subject of obedience, she said to me, “oh, now I understand how the
saints acted. Thank you, sister, a great light has entered my soul; I have
profited much.”
O
my Jesus, this is Your work. It is You who have spoken thus to that soul,
because this sister came in when I was completely immersed in God, and it was
just at that moment when this deep recollection left me. O my Jesus, I know
that, in order to be useful to souls, one has to strive for the closest
possible union with You, who are Eternal love. One word from a soul united to
God effects more good in souls than eloquent discussions and sermons from an
imperfect soul.
I
saw Father Andrasz surprise at my actions, but all that is for the glory of
God. Oh, how great is Your grace, O Lord, grace which lifts the soul up to
greater heights. I am very grateful to the Lord for having given me an
enlightened priest. You could have continued to leave me in uncertainties and
hesitations, but Your goodness remedied that. O my Jesus, it is impossible for
me to count your favors…
My
daughter, your struggle will last until death. Your last breath will mark its
end. You shall conquer by meekness.
February
13, 1938. I saw how unwillingly the Lord Jesus came to certain souls in Holy
Communion. And He spoke these words to me: I enter into certain hearts as into
a second Passion.
As
I was trying to make my Holy Hour, I saw the suffering Jesus, who spoke these
words to me: My daughter, do not pay so much attention to the vessel of grace
as to the grace itself which I gave you, because you are not always pleased
with the vessel, and then the graces too, become deficient. I want to guard
your from that, and I want you never to pay attention to the vessel in which I
send you My grace. Let all the attention of your soul be concentrated on
responding to My grace as faithfully as possible.
O
my Jesus, I You yourself do not soothe the longing of my soul, then no one can
either comfort or soothe it. Your every approach arouses new raptures of love
in my soul, but also a new agony; because, despite all Your approaches to my
soul, even the most exceptional, I am still loving You from a distance, and my
heart dies in an ecstasy of love; because this is still not the complete and
eternal union, although you commune with me so very often unveiled as if face
to face, nevertheless, You thereby open in my soul and heart an abyss of love
and desire for You, my God, and this bottomless abyss, this total desiring of
God, cannot be completely filled on this earth.
The
Lord has given me to know how much He desires the perfection of chosen souls.
Chosen souls are, in My hand, lights which I cast into the darkness of the
world and with which I illumine it. As stars illumine the night, so chosen
souls illumine the earth. And the more perfect a soul is, the stronger and the
more-far reaching is the light shed by it. It can be hidden and unknown, even
to those closest to it, and yet its holiness is reflected in souls even to the
most distant extremities of the world.
Today,
the Lord said to me, Daughter, when you go to confession, to this fountain of
My mercy, the Blood and Water which came forth from My Heart always flow down
upon your soul and ennobles it. Every time you go to confession, immerse
yourself entirely in My mercy, with great trust, so that I may pour the bounty
of My grace upon your soul. When you approach the confessional, know this, that
I myself am waiting there for you. I am only hidden by the priest, but I myself
act in your soul. Here the misery of the soul meets the God of mercy. Tell
souls that from this fount of mercy souls draw graces solely with the vessel of
trust. If their trust is great, there is no limit to My generosity. The
torrents of grace inundate humble souls. The proud remain always in poverty and
misery, because My grace turns away from them to humble souls.
February
14, 1938. During adoration, I heard these words: Pray for one of the students
who has great need of My grace. And I recognized N. I prayed hard, and God’s
mercy embraced that soul.
When
during adoration, I repeated the prayer, “Holy God” several times, a vivid
presence of God suddenly swept over me, and I was caught up in spirit before
the majesty of God. I saw how the angels and the saints of the Lord give glory
to God. The glory of God is so great that I dare not try to describe it,
because I would not be able to do so, and souls might think that what I have
written is all there is. Saint Paul, I understand now why you did not want to
describe heaven, but only said that eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor has it
entered into the heart of man what God has prepared for those who love Him.
Yes, that is indeed so. And all that has come forth from God returns to Him in
the same way and gives Him perfect glory. Now I have seen the way in which to
adore God; oh, how miserable it is! And what a tiny drop it is in comparison to
that perfect heavenly glory. O my God, how good You are to accept my praise as
well, and to turn Your Face to me with kindness and let us know that our prayer
is pleasing to You.
Write
down everything that occurs to you regarding My goodness. I answered, “what do
You mean, Lord, what if I write too much?” and the Lord replied, My daughter,
even if you were to speak at one and the same time in all human and angelic
tongues, even then you would not have said very much, but on the contrary, you
would have sung in only a small measure the praised of My Goodness – of My
unfathomable mercy. O my Jesus, You yourself must put words into my mouth, that
I may praise You worthily. My daughter, be at peace, do as I tell you. Your
thoughts are united to My thoughts, so write whatever comes to mind. You are
the secretary of My mercy. I have chosen you for that office in this life and
the next life. That is how I want it to be in spite of all the opposition they
will give you. Know that My choice will not change. At that moment I steeped
myself in profound humility before God’s majesty. But the more I humbled
myself, the more God’s presence penetrated me…
O
Jesus, my only solace! How frightful is this exile! How terrible this
wilderness I have to cross! My soul is struggling through a terrible thicket of
all kinds of difficulties. If you yourself did not support me, Lord, there
would be no thought of my moving forward.
February
16, 1938. as I was praying to the living Heart of Jesus in the Blessed
Sacrament for the intention of a certain priest, Jesus suddenly gave me
knowledge of His goodness and said to me, I will give him nothing that is
beyond his strength.
When
o learned of some of the sufferings and troubles that a certain person was
going through in connection with this whole work of God, I asked the Lord Jesus
before Holy Communion that He might make known to me whether by any chance
these sufferings were not caused by me: “My sweetest Jesus, I implore You by
Your infinite goodness and mercy, make know to me whether anything in this
matter displeases You or whether there is some fault of mine in this. If there
is, I ask You, when You enter my heart, fill it with unrest and make know to me
Your displeasure. And if I am not guilty in this matter, confirm me in peace.”
when I receive the Lord, my soul was filled with great peace, and the Lord gave
me to know that the work was undergoing at trial, but was no less pleasing to
God because of this. I felt great joy at this but I redoubled my prayers so
that this work might come through the ordeal unharmed.
O
my Jesus, how good it is to be on the cross, but with You! With You, my Love,
my soul is constantly stretched out on the cross and is being filled with
bitterness. Vinegar and gall touch my lips, but it is good that it is so,
because Your Divine Heart was filled with bitterness throughout Your life, and
in return for Your love You received ingratitude. You were in such pain that a
sorrowful complaint escaped your lips when You said that You were looking for
someone to console You and You found no one.
When
I asked the Lord to be so good as to cast a glance upon a certain soul
[probably Father Sopocko] who was struggling alone against many difficulties,
the Lord gave me to know, in an instant, that all people are as dust under His
feet. So do not worry; you see that they cannot do a thing of themselves. And
if I allow them to seem to triumph, I do this for the sake of My impenetrable
decrees. I experienced great peace in seeing how all things are determined by
the Lord.
When
the chaplain [Father Theodore] brings me the Lord Jesus, there are moments when
I am pervaded with a very vivid presence of God, and the Lord gives me to know
His holiness. At such times, I see the smallest speck on my soul, and I would
like to purify my soul before every Holy Communion. When I asked the confessor,
he said there was no need to confess before every Holy Communion. Holy
Communion takes away these tiny things and it is a temptation to think about
confession when receiving Holy Communion. I did not go on to explain the
condition of my soul in any greater detail, because he was not my director, but
the confessor. This knowledge does not take up my time, because it is faster
than lightning; it enkindles my love, leaving me with a knowledge of myself…
February
20, 1938. Today the Lord said to me, I have need of your sufferings to rescue
souls.
O
my Jesus, do with me as You please. I did not have the courage to ask the Lord
Jesus for greater sufferings, because I had suffered so much the night before
that I would not have been able to bear a drop more than what Jesus himself
gave me.
Almost
all night I had such violent pains that it seemed all my intestines were torn
to pieces. I threw up the medicine I had taken. When I bowed my head down to
the ground, I lost consciousness, and I stayed like that for some time, with my
head on the floor. When I came to, I became aware that my whole body was
pressing on my head and face, and that I was covered with vomit. I thought it
would be the end of me. Dear Mother superior [Irene] and sister Tarcisia were
trying to help me as best they could. Jesus demanded suffering but not death. O
my Jesus, do with me as You please. Only give me strength to suffer. Since Your
strength supports me, I shall bear everything. O souls, how I love you!
Today,
one of the sisters [probably sister Amelia] came to see me and said, “sister, I
have a strange feeling, as though something were telling me to come to you and
commend to you certain problems of mine before you die, and that perhaps you
will be able to beseech the Lord Jesus and arrange these things for me.
Something keeps telling me that you will be able to obtain this for me.” I
answered her with equal frankness that, yes, I felt in my soul that after my
death I would be able to obtain more from the Lord Jesus than at the present
time. “I will remember you, sister, before His throne.”
When
I entered the neighboring dormitory to visit the sisters who were ill, one of
them said to me, “sister, when you die I will not fear you at all. Come to see
me after you die, because I want to confide to you a secret concerning my soul,
something I want you to settle for me with the Lord Jesus. I know you can
obtain this from Him.” Because she was speaking in public I answered her in
this way: “the Lord Jesus is very discreet. And so He never betrays to anyone a
secret that is between Him and a soul.”
Oh
my Lord, thank you for conforming me to Yourself through immolation. I see that
this earthly vessel is beginning to crumble. I rejoice in this, because soon I
will be in my Father’s house.
February
27, 1938. Today, I went to confession to Father Andrasz. I did as Jesus wanted.
After confession, a surge of light filled my soul. Then I heard a voice:
Because you are a child, you shall remain close to My Heart. Your simplicity is
more pleasing to Me than your mortifications.
Father
Andrasz’s words: Live more by faith. Pray that the divine Mercy become more
widely known, and that the work may come into good hands that will manage it
well. As for yourself, try to be a good religious here- although things may
turn out that way also – but try to be a good religious right here. And now, if
you feel those urgings from the Lord and recognize that it is He, follow them.
Devote to prayer all the time that is set apart for it, and make your notations
afterwards…
The
last two days of carnival. My physical sufferings have intensified. I am
uniting myself more closely with the suffering Savior, asking Him for mercy for
the whole world, which is running riot in its wickedness. Throughout the day I
felt the pain of the crown of thorns. When I lay down, I could not rest my head
on the pillow. But at ten o’clock the pains ceased, and I fell asleep; but the
next day I felt very exhausted.
Jesus-Host,
if You yourself did not sustain me, I would not be able to persevere on the
cross. I would not be able to endure so much suffering. But the power of Your
grace maintains me on a higher level and makes my sufferings meritorious. You
give me strength always to move forward and to gain heaven by force and to have
love in my heart for those from whom I suffer adversities and contempt. With
Your grace one can do all things.
March
1, 1938. One day retreat.
In
meditation, I learned that I should hide myself as deeply as possible in the
Heart of Jesus, meditate upon His Sorrowful Passion, and penetrate into the
sentiments of His Divine Heart, which is full of mercy for sinners. In order to
obtain mercy for them, I will empty myself at every moment, living by the will
of God.
Throughout
this Lent, I am a host in Your hand, Jesus. Make use of me so that You may
enter into sinners Yourself. Demand anything You like; no sacrifice will seem
too much for me when souls are at stake.
I
have offered this whole month’s Masses and Holy Communions for the intention of
Father Andrasz, that God may give him an even deeper knowledge of His love and
mercy.
This
month I will practice the three virtues recommended to me by the Mother of God:
humility, purity and love of God, accepting with profound submission to the
will of God, everything that He will send me.
March
2, 1938. I began Holy Lent in the way that Jesus wanted me to, making myself
totally dependent upon His holy will and accepting with love everything that He
sends me. I cannot practice any greater mortifications, because I am so very
weak. This long illness has sapped my strength completely. I am uniting myself
with Jesus through suffering. When I meditate on His painful Passion, my
physical sufferings are lessened.
The
Lord said to me, I am taking you into My school for the whole of Lent. I want
to teach you how to suffer. I answered, “with You, Lord, I am ready for
everything.” And I heard a voice, you are allowed to drink from the cup from
which I drink. I give you that exclusive privilege today…
Today
I felt the Passion of Jesus in my whole body, and the Lord gave me knowledge of
the conversion of certain souls.
During
Holy Mass, I saw Jesus stretched out on the Cross, and He said to me, My pupil,
have great love for those who cause you suffering. Do good to those who hate
you. I answered, “O my Master, You see very well that I feel no love for them,
and that troubles me.” Jesus answered, It is not always within your power to
control your feelings. You will recognize that you have love if, after having
experienced annoyance and contradiction, you do not lose your peace, but pray
for those who have made you suffer and wish them well. When I returned […]
J.M.J.
I
am a host in Your hand,
O
Jesus, my Creator and Lord,
Silent,
hidden, without beauty or charm,
Because
all the beauty of my soul is imprinted within me.
I
am a host in Your hand, O Divine Priest,
Do
with me as You please;
I
am totally dependent on Your will, O Lord
Because
it is the delight and adornment of my soul.
I
am like a white host in Your hand, O God,
I
implore You, transform me into Yourself.
May
I be wholly hidden in You,
Locked
in Your merciful Heart as in Heaven.
I
am like a host in Your hand, O Eternal Priest,
May
the wafer of my body hide me from human eye;
May
your eye alone measure my love and devotion,
Because
my heart is always united with Your Divine Heart.
I
am like a sacrificial host in Your hand, O Divine Mediator,
And
I burn on the altar of holocaust,
Crushed
and ground by suffering like grains of wheat,
And
all this for the sake of Your glory, for the salvation of souls.
I
am a host abiding in the tabernacle of Your Heart.
I
go through life drowned in Your love,
And
I fear nothing in the world,
For
you Yourself are my shield, my strength, and my defense.
I
am a host, laid on the alter of Your Heart,
To
burn forever with the fire of love,
For
I know that You have lifted me up solely because of Your mercy,
And
so I turn all these gifts and graces to Your glory.
I
am a host in Your hand, O Judge and Savior.
In
the last hour of my life,
May
the omnipotence of Your grace lead me to my goal,
May
Your compassion on the vessel of mercy become famous.
Jesus,
fortify the powers of my soul that the enemy gain nothing. Without You, I am
weakness itself. What am I without your grace if not an abyss of my own misery?
Misery is my possession.
O
wound of mercy, Heart of Jesus, hide me in Your depths as a drop of Your own
blood, and do not let me out forever! Lock me in your depths, and do You
yourself teach me to love You! Eternal Love, do You yourself form my soul that
it be make capable of returning Your love. O living Love, enable me to love You
forever, I yearn to eternally reciprocate Your love. O Christ, a single gaze
from You is dearer to me than a thousand worlds, than all heaven itself. Lord,
You can make my soul capable of understanding completely who You are. I know
and I believe that You can do all things; if you have deigned to give Yourself
to me so generously, then I know that You can be even more generous. Bring me
into an intimacy with You so far as it is possible for human nature to be
brought…
J.M.J.
The
desires of my heart are so great and incomprehensible that nothing can fill the
abyss of my heart.
Even
the most beautiful things, gathered from all over the world,
Would
not for a moment fill Your place for me, O God.
With
one glance, I penetrated the whole world,
And
I found no other love like the love of my heart.
Therefore
I looked into the world of eternity
Because
this one is too small for me.
My
heart has desired the love of the Immortal One.
My
heart has sensed that I am a royal child,
That
I have found myself in exile, in a foreign land.
I
see that the heavenly palace is my home;
Only
there will I feel as in my own fatherland.
You
yourself have drawn my soul to You, O Lord;
O
Eternal Word, You yourself have stooped to me,
Giving
my soul a deeper knowledge of Yourself.
Behold,
the mystery of love for which You have created me!
Pure
love has made me strong and brave.
I
fear neither the seraphim nor the cherubim, standing with sword in hand,
And
I pass over with ease where others tremble,
Because
there is nothing to fear, there where love is the guide.
And
suddenly the eye of my soul came to rest upon You,
O
Lord Jesus Christ, stretched upon the cross.
Here
is my Love, with whom I will rest in my grave,
This
is my Bridegroom, my incomprehensible Lord and God.
[Here
occurs a bigger space in the Diary]
March
10, 1938. Continuous physical suffering. I am on the cross with Jesus. On one
occasion, M. Superior [Irene] said to me, “it is a lack of love of neighbor on
your part, sister, that you eat something and then you suffer and disturb the
others during their night’s rest.” Yet I know for sure that these pains which
occur in my intestines are not at all caused by food. The doctor [probably Dr.
Silberg] has said the same thing. These sufferings come from the body itself,
or rather are a visitation of the Lord. Nevertheless, after that remark I
resolved to suffer in secret and not to ask for help, because it is of no avail
anyway, since I throw up the medicines that are given to me.
May
a time, I have managed to suffer through attacks that were known only to Jesus.
The pains are so violent and severe that they cause me to lost consciousness.
When they cause me to faint, and I am drenched in cold sweat, then they
gradually begin to go away. Sometimes they last three hours or more. O My
Jesus, may Your holy will be done; I accept everything from Your hand. If I
accept the delights and raptures of love to the point of becoming oblivious to
what is going on around me, it is only right that I should accept with love
these sufferings which cause me to faint.
When
the doctor came, I could not go down to the parlor to see him, like the other
sisters, but asked that he come to my cell, because I could not go down due to
a certain difficulty. After a while, he came to the cell and, having examined
me, said, “I tell everything to the sister infirmarian.” When the sister
infirmarian came, after the doctor had left, I told her why I hadn’t been able
to go down to the parlor, but she gave me to know what how very displeased she
was. And when I asked, “sister, what did the doctor say about these pains?” she
answered that he had said nothing, that it was nothing, that he had said the
patient was just sulking. And with that she went off. Then I said to God, “Christ,
give me strength and power to suffer; give to my heart a pure love for this
sister.” After that, she did not look in on me again for a whole week. But the
sufferings returned with great violence and lasted almost the whole night, and
it seemed that it would be the end, then and there. The superiors decided to
approach another doctor, and he ascertained that my condition was serious and
said to me, “it will not be possible to return you to good health. We can
remedy your condition partially, but complete recovery is out of question.” He
prescribed a medicine for the pains, and after I had taken it, the major
attacks did not return. “But if you come here, sister, we will try to patch up
your health somehow, if that is still possible.” The doctor very much wanted me
to go there for a treatment. O my Jesus, how strange are your decrees!
Jesus
orders me to write all this for the consolation of other souls who will often
be exposed to similar sufferings.
Although
I was feeling very weak, I went to see the doctor [silberg] because that was
the superior’s will. The sister who was my companion was very unhappy about
this. She made this known to me several times and finally said, “What are we
going to do? I don’t have enough money to pay for the cab.” How are we going to
get there? It’s such a long way.” She said this and many other things just to
worry me, because our dear superiors had given us enough money for everything,
and we didn’t run short. And understanding this whole business within myself, I
laughed and told sister that I was not worried one bit: “let’s trust in God.”
But I saw that my deep peace was getting on her nerves, and so I started to
pray for her intention.
O
my Lord, all this is for You and to obtain mercy for poor sinners. When I
returned, I was so very tired that I had to lie down right away. But it was the
day for the quarterly confession. I tried to go to confession, not only because
I had need to do so, but also to ask advice of my spiritual director [Father
Andrasz]. I began to prepare myself; however I felt so weak that I decided to
go ask Mother superior [Irene] to allow me to go before the novices. Mother
superior answered, “Go and look for the directress of Novices, [sister
Callista]. If she allows you to go before the novices, it is all right with me.”
However, there were only three sisters ahead of me, waiting for confession, and
so I waited because I did not have enough strength to go and look for the
Directress of Novices. When I went in to make my confession I was feeling so
bad that I could not give an account of the condition of my soul; I barely
managed to make my confession. At that point, I noted how much the spirit is
needed; the letter itself does not make love grow.
On
that day, there arose some misunderstandings between the Superior and myself.
Neither she nor I was to blame, but moral suffering remained, because I could
not explain the matter in question, since it was a secret. This was the reason
why I suffered, even though by a single word, I could have revealed the truth.
March
20, 1938. Today, in spirit, I accompanied a certain dying soul. I obtained
trust in God’s mercy for her. The soul was near despair.
This
night is known only to You, O Lord. I have offered it for poor obdurate
sinners, to obtain Your mercy for them. Scourge me here, burn me here, as long
as You give me the souls of sinners, and especially … O Jesus, with You nothing
is lost; take everything and give me souls… sinners.
At
adoration during the Fourthy-Hour devotion, the Lord said to me, My daughter,
write that involuntary offenses of souls do not hinder My love for them or
prevent Me from uniting Myself with them. But voluntary offenses, even the
smallest, obstruct My graces, and I cannot lavish My gifts on such souls.
Jesus
gave me to know of how everything is dependent on His will, thus giving me
profound peace as regards the security of His work.
Listen,
My daughter, although all the works that come into being by My will are exposed
to great sufferings, consider whether any of them has been subject to greater
difficulties than that work which is directly Mine – the work of Redemption.
You should not worry too much about adversaries. The world is not as powerful
as it seems to be; its strength is strictly limited. Know, My daughter, that if
your soul is filled with the fire of My pure Love, then all difficulties
dissipate like fog before the sun’s rays and dare not touch the soul. All
adversaries are afraid to start a quarrel with such a soul, because they sense
that it is stronger than the whole world…
My
daughter, do as much for this work of mercy as obedience allows, but present
clearly to your confessor the very least of My demands, and he will decide. You
must not shirk in any way, but carry out everything faithfully; otherwise, I
would find no pleasure in you…
March
25, 1938. Today, I saw the suffering Lord Jesus. He leaned down toward me and
whispered softly, My daughter, help Me to save sinners. Suddenly, a burning
desire to save souls entered my soul. When I recovered my senses, I knew just
how I was to help souls, and I prepared myself for greater sufferings.
Today,
[probably Friday, March 25, 1938] my suffering increased; in addition, I felt
wounds in my hands, feet and side. I endured this with patience. I sensed the
hostility of the enemy of souls, but he did not touch me.
April
1, 1938. Once again, I am feeling worse today. A high fever is beginning to
consume me, and I cannot take any food. I would like to have something
refreshing to drink, but there is not even any water in my pitcher. All this, O
Jesus, to obtain mercy for souls.
Just
as I was renewing my intention with greater love, one of the novices came in
and gave me a big orange which had been sent by the Directress of Novices
[sister Callista]. I saw the Lord’s hand in this. The same thing happened
again, several times. During this time, although my needs were known, I never
received anything refreshing to eat, even though I had asked for it. However, I
knew that God was demanding suffering and sacrifices. I am not writing in
detail about these refusals, because these are delicate matters, and it is
difficult to believe. Yet God can demand even such sacrifices.
I
was about to ask Mother superior [Irene] to allow me to have something in my
cell with which to quench my great thirst, but before I managed to ask, Mother
herself began to speak. “Sister, let’s make an end of this illness once and for
all, one way or another. You’ll have to undergo regular treatment or something.
Things can’t go on like this any longer.” A little later when I was alone I
said, “Christ, what am I to do? Am I to ask You for health or for death?” I had
no clear command, so I knelt down and said, “May your holy will be done in my
regard. Do with me, Jesus, as You please.” At that very moment, I felt as
though I were all alone, and various temptations attacked me. But I found peace
and light in earnest prayer, and I understood that the superior only wished to
test me.
I
don’t know how this happens, but the room in which I have been lying has been
very much neglected. Sometimes, it has not been cleaned for more than two
weeks. Often, no one would light a fire in the stove, and so my cough would get
worse. Sometimes I would ask to have a fire lit, and at other times I did not
have the courage to ask. On one occasion, when Mother superior [Irene] came to
see me and asked me if perhaps it was necessary to heat the room more, I said,
No, because it was already getting warmer outside, and we had the window open.
First
Friday. When I took the Messenger of the Sacred Heart into my hand and read the
account of the canonization of Saint Andrew Bobola, my soul was instantly
filled with a great longing that our Congregation, too, might have a saint, and
I wept like a child that there was no saint in our midst. And I said to the
Lord, “I know your generosity, and yet it seems to me that You are less
generous toward us.” And I began again to weep like a little child. And the
Lord Jesus said to me, Don’t cry. You are that Saint. Then the light of God
inundated my soul, and I was given to know how much I was to suffer, and I said
to the Lord, “How will that come about? You have been speaking to me about
another congregation.” and the Lord answered, It is not for you to know how
this will come about. Your duty is to be faithful to My grace and to do always
what is within your power and what obedience allows you to do…
Today
one of the sisters came into my room and said that such and such a sister was
very fussy over her own illness, and that she found this very annoying and
would gladly give her a piece of her mind were it not for the fact that she was
not a member of this convent. I answered that I was surprised that she should
even think in such a way: “sister, just think of how many sleepless nights this
sick sister has been through and of how many tears…” the sister then came to
think differently.
J.M.J.
Adore,
my soul, the mercy of the Lord,
O
my heart, rejoice wholly in Him,
Because
for this you have been chosen by Him,
To
spread the glory of His mercy.
His
goodness no one has fathomed, no one can measure,
His
compassion is untold.
Every
soul that approaches Him experiences this.
He
will shield her and clasp her to His merciful bosom.
Happy
the soul that has trusted in Your goodness
And
has abandoned herself completely to Your mercy.
Her
soul is filled with the peace of love.
You
defend her everywhere as Your own child.
O
soul, whoever you may be in this world,
Even
if your sins were as black as night,
Do
not fear God, weak child that you are,
For
great is the power of God’s mercy.
J.M.J.
The
light above, where my God reigns,
This
it is that my soul yearns for,
This
it is for which my heart longs,
And
my whole being bounds towards You.
I
hasten on to the other world, to God alone,
Into
the incomprehensible light, the very fire of love,
For
my soul and my heart are created for Him,
And
my heart has loved Him from my tender youth.
There,
in the resplendent light of Your countenance
My
languishing love will rest.
For
Your virgin agonizes for You in her exile,
For
she lives only when united with You.
J.M.J.
My
day is drawing to a close,
Even
now I glimpse the refulgence of Your light, O my God.
No
one shall learn of what my heart is feeling;
My
lips shall fall silent in great humility.
Even
now, I draw nigh to the eternal nuptials,
To
heaven unending, to spaces without limit.
I
long for no repose or reward;
The
pure love of God draws me to heaven.
Even
now, I go to meet You, eternal love
With
a heart languishing in its desire for You.
I
feel that Your pure love, Lord, dwells in my heart,
And
I sense my eternal destiny in heaven.
Even
now, I go to my Father, in heaven eternal,
From
the land of exile, from this vale of tears,
The
earth can no longer hold back my pure heart,
And
the heights of heaven have drawn me close.
I
go, O my Bridegroom, I go to see Your glory,
Which
even now fills my soul with joy
There
were all heaven is plunged in Your adoration,
I
feel that my worship is pleasing to You, nothingness though I am.
In
eternal happiness, I will not forget those on earth,
I
will obtain God’s mercy for all,
And
I will remember especially those who were dear to my heart,
And
the deepest absorption in God will not allow me to forget them.
In
these last moments I know not how to converse with others.
In
silence I await only You, O Lord.
I
know the time will come when all will understand the work of God in my soul.
I
know that such is Your will. – So be it.
O
truth, o thorny life,
In
order to pass through you victoriously
It
is necessary to lean on You, O Christ,
And
to be always close to You.
I
would not know how to suffer without You, O Christ.
Of
myself I would not be able to brave adversities.
Alone,
I would not have the courage to drink from Your cup;
But
You, Lord, are always with me, and You lead me along mysterious paths.
A
weak child, I have begun the battle in Your Name.
I
have fought bravely, though often without success,
And
I know that my efforts have pleased You,
And
I know that it is the effort alone which you eternally reward.
O
truth, O life and death struggle,
When
I rose to do battle, an inexperienced knight,
I
felt I had a knight’s blood, though still a child,
And
therefore, O Christ, I needed Your help and protection.
My
heart will not rest from its efforts and struggle
Until
you Yourself call me from the field of battle.
I
will stand before You, not to receive a reward,
But
to be drowned in You, in peace forever.
O
Christ, if my soul had known, all at once, what it was going to have to suffer
during its lifetime, it would have died of terror at the very sight; it would
not have touched its lips to the cup of bitterness. But as it has been given to
drink a drop at a time, it has emptied the cup to the very bottom. O Christ, if
You Yourself did not support the soul, how much could it do of itself? We are
strong, but with Your strength; we are holy, but with Your holiness. And of
ourselves, what are we? – Less than nothing…
My
Jesus, You suffice me for everything else in the world. Although the sufferings
are severe, You sustain me. Although the times of loneliness are terrible, You
make them sweet for me. Although the weakness is great, You change it into
power for me.
I
do not know how to describe all that I suffer, and what I have written thus far
is merely a drop. There are moments of suffering about which I cannot write.
But there are also moments in my life when my lips are silent, and there are no
words for my defense, and I submit myself completely to the will of God; then
the Lord Himself defends me and makes claims on my behalf, and His demands are
such that they can be noticed exteriorly. Nevertheless, when I perceive His
major interventions, which manifest themselves by way of punishment, then I beg
Him earnestly for mercy and forgiveness. Yet I am not always heard. The Lord
acts toward me in a mysterious manner. There are times when He Himself allows
terrible sufferings, and then again there are times when He does not let me
suffer and removes everything that might afflict my soul. These are His ways,
unfathomable and incomprehensible to us. It is for us to submit ourselves
completely to His holy will. There are mysteries that the human mind will never
fathom here on earth; eternity will reveal them.
April
10, 1938. Palm Sunday. I attended Holy Mass, but did not have the strength to
go and get the palm. I felt so weak that I barely made it till the end of Mass.
During Mass, Jesus gave me to know the pain of His soul, and I could clearly
feel how the hymns of Hosanna reverberated as a painful echo in His Sacred
Heart. My soul, too, was inundated by a sea of bitterness, and each Hosanna
pierced my own heart to its depths. My whole soul was drawn close to Jesus. I
heard Jesus’ voice: My daughter, your compassion for Me refreshes Me. By
meditating on My Passion, your soul acquires a distinct beauty.
I
received Holy Communion upstairs, for there was no question of my going down to
the chapel since I was exhausted because of intense sweating, and when that
passed, I had a fever and chills. I felt completely worn out. Today, one of the
Jesuit Fathers [Father Zukowicz] brought us Holy Communion. He gave the Lord to
three other sisters and then to me; and thinking I was the last, he gave me two
hosts. But one of the novices was lying in bed in the next cell, and there was
no Host left for her. The priest went back again and brought her the Lord, but
Jesus told me, I enter that heart unwillingly. You received those two hosts,
because I delayed My coming into this soul who resists My grace. My visit to
such a soul is not pleasant for Me. At that point, my soul was drawn close to
Him, and I received a deep inner light which gave me to understand, in spirit,
all the workings of mercy. It was like a flash of lightning, but more distinct
than if I had watched it for hours with the eyes of my body.
Still,
in order to write anything at all, I must make use of words, though they cannot
render all of what my soul enjoyed on seeing the glory of God’s mercy. The
glory of the Divine Mercy is resounding, even now, in spite of the efforts of
its enemies and satan himself, who has a great hatred for God’s mercy. This
work will snatch a great number of souls from him, and that is why the spirit of
darkness sometimes tempts good people violently, so that they may hinder the
work. But I have clearly seen that the will of God is already being carried
out, and that it will be accomplished to the very last detail. The enemy’s
greatest efforts will not thwart the smallest detail of what the Lord has
decreed. No matter if there are times when the work seems to be completely
destroyed; it is then that the work is being all the more consolidated.
My
soul was filled with a peace much deeper than anything I had experienced
before, a divine reassurance which nothing can efface, a deep peace which
nothing can disturb, even though I were to go through the severest of ordeals.
I am at peace; God himself governs all things.
I
spent the whole day in thanksgiving, and gratitude kept flooding my soul. O my
God, how good You are, how great is Your mercy! You visit me with so many
graces, me who am a most wretched speck of dust. Prostrating myself at your
feet, O Lord, I confess with a sincere heart that I have done nothing to
deserve even the least of Your graces. It is in Your infinite goodness that You
give yourself to me so generously. Therefore, the greater the graces which my
heart receives, the deeper it plunges itself in humility.
O
Christ, suffering for You is the delight of my heart and my soul. Prolong my
sufferings to infinity, that I may give You a proof of my love. I accept
everything that Your hand will hold out to me. Your love, Jesus, is enough for
me. I will glorify You in abandonment and darkness, in agony and fear, in pain
and bitterness, in anguish of spirit and grief of heart. In all things may You
be blessed. My heart is so detached from the earth, that You yourself are
enough for me. There is no longer any moment in my life for self concern.
Holy
Thursday, April 14, 1938. Today I felt strong enough to take part in the
ceremonies of the Church. During Holy Mass, Jesus stood before me and said,
Look into My heart and see there the love and mercy which I have for humankind,
and especially for sinners. Look, and enter into My Passion. In an instant, I
experienced and lived through the whole Passion of Jesus in my own heart. I was
surprised that these tortures did not deprive me of my life.
During
adoration, Jesus said to me, My daughter, know that your ardent love and the
compassion you have for Me were a consolation to Me in the Garden of Olives.
During
Holy Hour in the evening, I heard the words, You see my mercy for sinners,
which at this moment is revealing itself in all its power. See how little you
have written about it; it is only a single drop. Do what is in your power, so
tht sinners may come to know My goodness.
Good
Friday, April 15, 1938. I saw the Lord Jesus tortured, but not nailed to the
Cross. It was still before the crucifixion, and He said to me, You are My
Heart. Speak to sinners about My mercy. And the Lord gave me interior knowledge
of the whole abyss of His mercy for souls, and I learned that that which I had
written is truly a drop.
Holy
Saturday, april 16, 1938. During adoration, the Lord said to me, Be at peace,
My daughter. This work of mercy is Mine; there is nothing of you in it. It
pleases Me that you are carrying out faithfully what I have commanded you to
do, not adding or taking away a single word. And He gave me an interior light
by which I learned that not a single work was mine; despite difficulties and
adversities, I have always, always fulfilled His will, as He has made known to
me.
The
Resurrection. Before the Mass of the Resurrection, I felt so weak that I lost
all hope of participating in the procession which takes place in the church;
and I said to the Lord, “Jesus, if my prayers are pleasing to You, give me the
strength for this moment that I may take part in the procession.” At that same
instant, I felt strong and certain that I could go along with the sisters in
the procession.
When
the procession began, I saw Jesus in a brightness greater than the light of the
sun. Jesus looked at me with love and said, Heart of My Heat, be filled with
joy. At that moment my spirit was drowned in Him… when I came to myself, I was
walking along in the procession with the sisters, while my soul was totally
immersed in Him…
Easter,
April 17, 1938. during Mass, I thanked the Lord Jesus for having deigned to
redeem us and for having given us that greatest of all gifts; namely, His love
in Holy Communion; that is, His very own self. At that moment, I was drawn into
the bosom of the Most Holy Trinity, and I was immersed in the love of the
Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. These moments are hard to describe.
At
that moment, I prayed to the Lord for a certain person, and the Lord answered
me, This soul is particularly dear to Me. I was immensely happy with this. The
happiness of other souls fills me with a new joy, and when I see the higher
gifts in some soul, my heart soars up to the Lord in a new hymn of adoration.
April
19, 1938. during recreation, one of the sisters [sister Cajetan] said, “sister,
Faustina is doing so poorly that she can hardly walk, but may she die soon
because she is going to be a saint.” Then one of the sister directresses
[sister Casimir] said, “That she is going to die, we know; but whether she is
going to be a saint, that is another question.” There then began some malicious
remarks on this subject. I kept silent, then I put in a word, but I saw that
the conversation was getting worse, so again I fell silent.
At
present, I am getting letters from sisters who are in other houses and who made
their novitiate with me. They often amuse me and make me laugh, as they usually
go something like this: “dear Sister Faustina, we are very sorry that you are
so gravely ill; but we are very happy that, when the Lord Jesus takes you away,
you will pray for us, for you have a lot of influence with the Lord.” One of
the sisters put it this way: “when you die, sister, please take me under your
special care, for certainly you can do that for me.” Another sister wrote as
follows: “how I am waiting for the time when the Lord Jesus will take you,
because I know what will happen then; and I greatly desire death for you.” I
did want to ask her what she was thinking of, concerning my death, but I
mortified myself and answered. “The same thing will happen to me, a sinner, as
happens to all sinners, if Gods’ mercy does not shield me.”
April
20, 1938. Departure for Pradnik. I was very worried that I would be put in bed
in a ward and be exposed to all sorts of things. If it were to be for only a
week or two… but it is for such a long time, two months or perhaps more. In the
evening, I went for a long talk with the Lord Jesus. When I saw the Lord Jesus,
I poured out my whole heart before Him, all my troubles, fears and
apprehensions. Jesus lovingly listened to me and then said, Be at peace, My
child, I am with you. Go in great peace. All is ready; I have ordered, in my
own special way, a private room to be prepared for you. Reassured and
overwhelmed with gratitude I went to bed.
On
the following day, Sister Felicia took me there. I left in great peace and a
calm spirit. When we arrived, they told us there was a private room for sister
Faustina. When we entered the room, we were surprised that everything had been
prepared so beautifully: all was clean and neat, covered with tablecloths and
bedecked with flowers; a pretty Easter Lamb had been placed on the night table
by the sisters. At once, three Sacred Heart sisters who work at the sanatorium,
my old acquaintances, came and greeted me warmly. Sister Felicia was surprised
at all this. We bid a warm farewell to each other, and she left. When I was
alone, with just the Lord Jesus and myself, I thanked Him for this great grace.
Jesus
said to me, Be at peace; I am with you. Tired, I fell asleep. In the evening,
the sister [sister David] who was to look after me came and said, “tomorrow you
will not receive the Lord Jesus, sister, because you are very tired; later on,
we shall see.” This hurt me very much, but I said with great calmness, “very
well,” and, resigning myself totally to the will of the Lord, I tried to sleep.
In the morning, I made my meditation and prepared for Holy Communion, even
though I was not to receive the Lord Jesus. When my love and desire had reached
a high degree, I saw at my bedside a Seraph, who gave me Holy Communion, saying
these words: “Behold the Lord of Angels.” When I received the Lord, my spirit
was drowned in the love of God and in amazement. This was repeated for thirteen
days, although I was never sure he would bring me Holy Communion the next day.
Yet, I put my trust completely in the goodness of God, but did not even dare to
think that I would receive Holy Communion in this way on the following day. The
Seraph was surrounded by a great light, the divinity and love of God being
reflected in him. He wore a golden robe and, over it, a transparent surplice
and a transparent stole. The chalice was crystal, covered with a transparent
veil. As soon as he gave me the Lord, he disappeared.
Once,
when a certain doubt rose within me shortly before Holy Communion, the Seraph
with the Lord Jesus stood before me again. I asked the Lord Jesus, and not
receiving an answer, I said to the Seraph, “could you perhaps hear my
confession?” and he answered me, “No spirit in heaven has that power.” And at
that moment, the Sacred Host rested on my lips.
On
Sunday, April 24, 1938, the sister who had charge of the sick said to me, “well,
sister, the priest will bring you the Lord Jesus today.” I answered, “good,”
and he brought Him. After some time, I received permission to leave my bed. So
I went to Holy Mass and to spend time with the Lord, regularly.
After
the first examination, the doctor [Silberg] found that my condition was grave. “We
suspect, sister, that you do have the illness about which you spoke to me. But
almighty God can do all things.”
When
I entered my room, I steeped myself in prayer of thanksgiving for everything
the Lord had been sending me throughout my whole life, surrendering myself
totally to His most Holy will. A deep joy and peace flooded my soul. I felt a
peace so great that, if death had come at that moment, I would not have said to
it, “wait, for I still have some matters to attend to.” No, I would have
welcomed it with joy, because I am ready for the meeting with the Lord, not
only today, but ever since the moment when I placed my complete trust in the
Divine Mercy, resigning myself totally to His most holy will, full of mercy and
compassion. I know what I am of myself…
Low
Sunday. Today, I again offered myself to the Lord as a holocaust for sinners.
My Jesus, if the end of my life is already approaching, I beg you most humbly,
accept my death in union with You as a holocaust which I offer You today, while
I still have full possession of my faculties and a fully conscious will, and
this for a threefold purpose:
Firstly:
that the work of Your Mercy may spread throughout the whole world and that the
feast of the Divine Mercy may be solemnly promulgated and celebrated.
Secondly:
That sinners, especially dying sinners, may have recourse to Your Mercy and
experience the unspeakable effects of this mercy.
Thirdly:
that all the work of Your mercy may be realized according to Your wishes, and
for a certain person who is in charge of this work…
Accept,
most merciful Jesus, this, my inadequate sacrifice, which I offer to You today
before heaven and earth. May your most Sacred Heart, so full of mercy, complete
what is lacking in my offering, and offer it to Your Father for the conversion
of sinners. I thirst after souls, O Christ.
At
that moment, the light of God penetrated my being, and I felt that I was Gods’
exclusive property; and I experienced the greatest spiritual freedom, of which
I had had no previous idea. And at the same time, I saw the glory of the Divine
Mercy and an infinite multitude of souls who were praising His goodness. My
soul was completely drowned in God, and I heard the words, You are My
well-beloved daughter. The vivid presence of God continued throughout the whole
day.
May
1, 1938. This evening, Jesus said to me, My daughter, do you need anything? I
answered, “O my Love, when I have You I have everything.” And the Lord
answered, If souls would put themselves completely in My care, I myself would
undertake the task of sanctifying them, and I would lavish even greater graces
on them. There are souls who thwart My efforts, but I have not given up on
them; as often as they turn to Me, I hurry to their aid, shielding them with My
mercy, and I give them the first place in My compassionate Heart.
Write
for the benefit of religious souls that it delights me to come to their hearts
in Holy Communion. But if there is anyone else in such a heart, I cannot bear
it and quickly leave that heart, taking with Me all the gifts and graces I have
prepared for the soul. And the soul does not even notice my going. After some
time, inner emptiness and dissatisfaction will come to her attention. Oh, if
only she would turn to Me then; I would help her to cleanse her heart, and I
would fulfill everything in her soul, but without her knowledge and consent, I
cannot be the Master of her heart.
I
often communicate with persons who are dying and obtain the divine mercy for
them. Oh, how great is the goodness of God, greater than we can understand.
There are moments and there are mysteries of the divine mercy over which the
heavens are astounded. Let or judgment of souls cease, for God’s mercy upon
them is extraordinary.
During
Holy hour today, I asked the Lord Jesus if He would deign to teach me about the
spiritual life. Jesus answered me, My daughter, faithfully live up to the words
which I speak to you. Do not value any external things too highly, even if it
were to seem very precious to you. Let go of yourself, and abide with Me
continually. Entrust everything to Me and do nothing on your own, and you will
always have great freedom of spirit. No circumstances or events will ever be
able to upset you. Set little store on what people say. Let everyone judge you
as they like. Do not make any excuses for yourself; it will do you no harm.
Give away everything at the first sign of a demand, even if they were the most
necessary things. Do not ask for anything without consulting Me. Allow them to
take away even what is due you – respect, your good name – let your spirit rise
above all that. And so, set free from everything, rest close to My Heart, not
allowing your peace to be disturbed by anything. My pupil, consider the words
which I have spoken.
O
my love, my eternal Master, how good it is to obey; because when obedience
infuses the soul, it brings with it power and strength to act.
Today
I saw the crucified Lord Jesus. Precious pearls and diamonds were pouring forth
from the wound in His Heart. I saw how a multitude of souls was gathering these
gifts, but there was one soul who was closest to His Heart, and she, knowing
the greatness of these gifts, was gathering them with liberality, not only for
herself, but for others as well. The Savior said to me, Behold, the treasures
of grace that flow down upon souls, but not all souls know how to take
advantage of My generosity.
Today,
the Lord said to me, My daughter, look into My Merciful Heart and reflect its
compassion in our own heart and in your deeds, so that you, who proclaim My
mercy to the world, may yourself be aflame with it.
May
8, 1938. Today, I saw two enormous pillars implanted in the ground; I had
implanted one of them, and a certain person, S.M., the other. We had done so
with unheard of effort, much fatigue and difficulty. And when I had implanted
the pillar, I myself wondered where such extraordinary strength had come from.
And I recognized that I had not done this by my own strength, but with the
power which came from above. These two pillars were close to each other, in the
area of the image. And I saw the image, raised up very high and hanging from
these two pillars. In an instant, there stood a large temple, supported both
from within and from without, upon these two pillars. I saw a hand finishing
the temple, but I did not see the person. There was a great multitude of
people, inside and outside the temple, and the torrents issuing from the
Compassionate Heart of Jesus were flowing down upon everyone.
After
Holy Communion today, Jesus said, My daughter, give Me souls, know that it is
your mission to win souls from Me by prayer and sacrifice, and by encouraging
them to trust in My mercy.
Oh,
how greatly I desire the glory of Your mercy – for me, bitterness and
suffering! When I see the glory of your mercy, I am immeasurably happy. Let all
disgrace, humiliation come down upon me, as long as the glory and praise of
Your mercy resounds everywhere – that’s all that matters.
The
Creator and The Creature.
I
adore You, Lord and Creator, hidden in the Blessed Sacrament. I adore You for
all the works of Your hands, that reveal to me so much wisdom, goodness and
mercy, O Lord. You have spread so much beauty over the earth, and it tells me
about Your beauty, even though these beautiful things are but a faint
reflection of You, Incomprehensible Beauty. And although You have hidden
yourself and concealed Your beauty, my eye, enlightened by faith, reaches You,
and my soul recognizes its Creator, its Highest Good; and my heart is
completely immersed in prayer of adoration.
My
Lord and creator, Your goodness encourages me to converse with You. Your mercy
abolishes the chasm which separates the Creator from the creature. To converse
with You, O Lord, is the delight of my heart. In You I find everything that my
heart could desire. Here Your light illumines my mind, enabling it to know You
more and more deeply. Here streams of graces flow down upon my heart. Here my
soul draws eternal life. O my Lord and Creator, You alone, beyond all these
gifts, give your own self to me and unite Yourself intimately with Your
miserable creature. Here, without searching for words, our hearts understand
each other. Here, no one is able to interrupt our conversation. What I talk to
You about, Jesus, is our secret, which creatures shall not know and Angels dare
not ask about. These are secret acts of forgiveness, known only to Jesus and
me; this is the mystery of His mercy, which embraces each soul separately. For
this incomprehensible goodness of Yours, I adore You, O Lord and Creator, with
all my heart and all my soul. And, although my worship is so little and poor, I
am at peace because I know that You know it is sincere, however inadequate…
As
I was writing the above words, I saw the Lord Jesus leaning over me, and He
asked, My daughter, what are you writing? I answered, “I am writing about You,
Jesus, about Your being hidden in the Blessed Sacrament, about Your inconceivable
love and mercy for people.” And Jesus said, Secretary of My most profound
mystery, know that yours is an exclusive intimacy with Me. Your task is to
write down everything that I make known to you about My mercy, for the benefit
of those who by reading these things will be comforted in their souls and will
have the courage to approach Me. I therefore want you to devote all your free
moments to writing. “But, O Lord, shall I always have a moment, at least a
brief one, in which to write?” and Jesus answered, it is not for you to think
about that. Only do as much as you can, and I will always arrange things so
that you will easily be able to do what I ask of you…
Today,
I was visited by a certain lay person [probably Stanislava Kwietniewska] who
has caused me a lot of sorrow and who has abused my goodness, telling many
lies. At the first moment I saw her, the blood froze in my veins, because there
stood before my eyes all that I had to suffer because of her, although with one
word I could have freed myself of them all. And the thought came to me to tell
her the truth, firmly and immediately. But at the same moment, the mercy of God
came before my eyes, and I resolved to act toward her as Jesus would have acted
in my place. I started to talk to her gently, and when she expressed the wish
to talk to me alone, I then, in a very delicate manner, made know to her
clearly the sad condition of her soul. I saw that she was deeply moved, though
she was trying to hide this from me. At that point, a third person came in, and
so our heart-to-heart talk came to an end. She asked me for a glass of water
and for two other things which I did willingly. However, had it not been for
the grace of God, I would not have been able to act in such a way toward her.
When they left, I thanked God for the grace which had supported me during that
time.
Then
I heard the words, I am glad you behaved like My true daughter. Be always
merciful as I am merciful. Love everyone out of love for Me, even your greatest
enemies, so that My mercy may be fully reflected in your heart.
O
Christ, although much effort is required, all things can be done with Your
grace.
I
was feeling fairly well today, and I was glad that I would be able to make the
Holy Hour. But when I began to make the Holy Hour, my physical sufferings
intensified, so that I was not able to pray. When the Holy Hour was over, my
sufferings came to an end, and I complained to the Lord that I had wanted so
much to steep myself in His sorrowful Passion, but that my sufferings had not
allowed me to do so. Then Jesus said to me, My daughter, know that if I allow
you to feel and have a more profound knowledge of My sufferings, that is a
grace from Me. But when your mind is dimmed and your sufferings are great, it
is then that you take an active part in My Passion, and I am conforming you
more fully to Myself. It is your task to submit yourself to My will at such
time, more than at others…
I
often attend upon the dying and through entreaties obtain for them trust in
God’s mercy, and I implore God for an abundance of divine grace, which is
always victorious. God’s mercy sometimes touches the sinner at the last moment
in a wondrous and mysterious way. Outwardly, it seems as if everything were
lost, but it is not so. The soul, illuminated by a ray of God’s powerful final
grace, turns to God in the last moment with such a power of love that, in an
instant, it receives from God forgiveness of sin and punishment, while
outwardly it shows no sign either of repentance or of contrition, because souls
[at that stage] no longer react to external things. Oh, how beyond
comprehension is God’s mercy! But – horror! – There are also souls who
voluntarily and consciously reject and scorn this grace! Although a person is
at the point of death, the merciful God gives the soul that interior vivid
moment, so that if the soul is willing, it has the possibility of returning to
God. But sometimes, the obduracy in souls is so great that consciously they
choose hell; they thus make useless all the prayers that other souls offer to
God for them and even the efforts of God himself…
J.M.J.
Solitude
– my favorite moments,
Solitude
– but always with You, Jesus and Lord,
Close
to Your Heart, time passes pleasantly for me,
And,
close to Him, my soul finds its repose.
When
the heart is filled with You and overflowing with love,
And
the soul burns with pure fire,
Then,
amidst the utmost desolation, the soul will not experience loneliness,
Because
it rests on Your bosom.
O
solitude – moments of supreme companionship,
Though
I be abandoned by all creatures,
I
immerse myself totally in the ocean of Your Godhead,
And
You listen sweetly to my confidences.
This
evening the Lord asked me, Do you not have any desires in your heart? I
answered, “I have one great desire, and it is to be united with You forever.”
And the Lord answered me, that will happen soon. My dearest child, your every
stirring is reflected in My Heart. My gaze rests kindly upon you before any
other creature.
I
asked the Lord today that He might deign to teach me about the interior life,
because of myself I can neither understand nor conceive anything perfectly. The
Lord answered me, I was your Teacher, I am and will be; strive to make your
heart like unto My humble and gentle heart. Never claim your rights. Bear with
great calm and patience everything that befalls you. Do not defend yourself
when you are put to shame, though innocent. Let others triumph. Do not stop
being good when you noticed that your goodness is being abused. I myself will
speak for you when it is necessary. Be grateful for the smallest of My graces,
because your gratitude compels Me to grant you new graces…
Toward
the end of the Way of the Cross which I was making, the Lord Jesus began to
complain about the souls of religious and priests, about the lack of love in
chosen souls. I will allow convents and churches to be destroyed. I answered, “Jesus,
but there are so many souls praising You in convents.” The Lord answered, that
praise wounds My Heart, because love has been banished from convents. Souls
without love and without devotion, souls full of egoism and self-love, souls
full of pride and arrogance, souls full of deceit and hypocrisy, lukewarm souls
who have just enough warmth to keep them alive: My Heart cannot bear this. All
the graces that I pour out upon them flow off them as off the face of a rock. I
cannot stand them, because they are neither good or bad. I called convents into
being to sanctify the world through them. It is from them that a powerful flame
of love and sacrifice should burst forth. And if they do not repent and become
enkindled by their first love, I will deliver them over to the fate of this
world… How can they sit on the promised throne of judgment to judge the world,
when their guilt is greater than the guilt of the world? There is neither
penance nor atonement. O heart, which received me in the morning and at noon
are all ablaze with hatred against Me, hatred of all sorts! O heart specially
chosen by Me, were you chosen for this, to give Me more pain? The great sins of
the world are superficial wounds on My Heart, but the sins of a chosen soul
pierce My Heart through and through…
When
I tried to intercede for them, I could find nothing with which to excuse them
and, being at the time unable to think of anything in their defense, my heart
was seized with pain, and I wept bitterly. Then the Lord looked at me kindly
and comforted me with these words: Do not cry. There are still a great number
of souls who love Me very much, but My Heart desires to be loved by all and,
because My love is great, that is why I warn and chastise them.
Struggle
with a certain temptation. There was a person who kept accosting me with
flattering words, and since he knew when I went out to go to the chapel or to
the veranda, he would bar my way. Since he did not dare approach me by himself,
he found another person like himself, but neither of them dared approach. As I
was on my way to the May devotions, they were already standing there where I
had to pass. I hadn’t yet reached them when I heard inciting words, directed at
me. And the Lord permitted me to know the intentions of their hearts, which
were not good. I felt they would block my way after the service, and then I
would have to talk to them, for up to that time, I hadn’t said a word.
When
I left the chapel, they were there, armed and waiting for me to pass. This
time, I was overcome with fear. Then Jesus stood by me and said, Do not fear, I
am with you. Then I felt an extraordinary strength in my soul, which I cannot
describe and, being a few steps from them, I said boldly and loudly, “Praised
be Jesus Christ.” And they, stepping aside, responded, “for ever and ever.
Amen.” As if struck by lightning, they bowed their heads, not even daring to
look at me. After I had passed, I could hear some malicious comments. Ever
since that time, when this person sees me, he runs away in order not to meet me
and I, thanks to the Lord, have been left in peace…
After
Holy Mass, I went out to the garden to make my meditation, since there were not
yet any patients in the garden at this time, and so I felt at ease. As I was
meditating on the blessings of God, my heart was burning with a love so strong
that it seemed my breast would burst. Suddenly Jesus stood before me and said,
what are you doing here so early? I answered, “I am thinking of You, of Your
mercy and Your goodness toward us. And You, Jesus what are You doing here?” I
have come out to meet you, to lavish new graces on you. I am looking for souls
who would like to receive My grace.
During
Vespers today, the Lord gave me to know how very pleased He is with a pure and
free heart. I felt that it is God’s delight to look into such a heart… but such
hearts are knightly hearts; their life is a constant battle…
On
my way to the veranda, I went into the chapel for a moment. My heart was
plunged in profound adoration, praising God’s incomprehensible goodness and His
mercy. Then I heard these words in my soul: I am and will be for you such as
you praise Me for being. You shall experience My goodness, already in this life
and then, to the full, in the life to come.
O
Christ, I am most delighted when I see that You are loved, and that Your praise
and glory resound, especially the praise of Your mercy. O Christ, to the last
moment of my life, I will not stop glorifying Your goodness and mercy. With
every drop of my blood, with every beat of my heart, I glorify Your mercy. I
long to be entirely transformed into a hymn of Your Glory. When I find myself
on my deathbed, may the last beat of my heart be a loving hymn in praise of
Your unfathomable mercy.
Today
the Lord said to me, you shall make a three-day retreat before the coming of
the Holy Spirit. I Myself will direct you. You shall not follow any of the
rules required for retreats or use any books for meditation. Your task is to
listen attentively to My words. For spiritual reading you shall read one
chapter from the Gospel of St. John.
[Here
occurs a space of a half page in the original Notebook]
May
26, 1938. Feast of the Ascension. Today I accompanied the Lord Jesus as He
ascended into heaven. It was about noon. I was overcome by a great longing for
God. It is a strange thing, the more I felt God’s presence, the more ardently I
desired Him. Then I saw myself in the midst of a huge crowd of disciples and
apostles, together with the Mother of God. Jesus was telling them to … Go out
into the whole world and teach in My name. He stretched out His hands and
blessed them and disappeared in a cloud. I saw the longing of Our Lady. Her
soul yearned for Jesus with the whole force of Her love. But she was so
peaceful and so united to the will of God that there was not a stir in Her
Heart but for what God wanted.
When
I was left alone with the Blessed Virgin, She instructed me concerning the interior
life. She said, The soul’s true greatness is in loving God and in humbling
oneself in His presence, completely forgetting oneself and believing oneself to
be nothing; because the Lord is great, but He is well pleased only with the
humble; He always apposes the proud.
A
certain person whom I have mentioned before visited me again. When I saw that
she was beginning to get entangled in her own lies, I let her know that I knew
she was lying. She became very embarrassed and stopped speaking. Then I spoke
to her about the great judgments of God, and I also remarked that she was
leading innocent souls astray and along dangerous roads. I uncovered before her
everything that was in her heart. Since I had to overcome my own feelings in
order to talk to her, to prove to Jesus that I love my enemies, I gave her my
afternoon snack. She went away enlightened in soul, but action is still far
away…
There
are times when the Lord Jesus fulfills my smallest wishes. Today I remarked
that I would like to see some ears of grain, but that they cannot be seen from
our sanatorium. However, one of the patients heard this remark and, on the
following day, he went out into the field and brought me several beautiful ears
of grain. My room is always adorned with fresh flowers, but my spirit finds
satisfaction in nothing. More and more, I yearn for God.
Today
I interceded earnestly with the Lord Jesus for our house, that He might deign
to take away the cross which has touched our convent. The Lord answered me,
your prayers are accepted for other intentions. I cannot take away this cross
until they recognize its meaning. Nevertheless I did not stop praying.
A
strong temptation. The Lord gave me to know how pleasing a pure heart is to
Him, and thereby I was given a deeper knowledge of my own misery. When I began
to prepare for confession, strong temptations against confessors assaulted me.
I did not see satan, but I could sense him, his terrible anger. “yes, he’s an
ordinary man.” “not ordinary, because he has the power of God.” Yes, it is not
difficult for me to accuse myself of my sins. But to uncover the most secret
depths of my heart, to give an account of the action of God’s grace, to speak
about God’s every demand, about all that goes on between God and myself… to
tell that to a man is beyond my strength. I felt I was fighting against the
powers and I cried out: “O Christ, You and the priest are one; I will approach
confession as if I were approaching not a man, but You.” When I entered the
confessional, I began by disclosing my difficulties. The priest replied that
the best thing I could have done was to disclose these temptations from the
outset. However, after the confession, they took flight, and my soul is
enjoying peace.
Once,
during recreation, one of the sister directresses said that the lay sisters
were without feelings, and so could be treated stiffly. I was sorry to see that
the sister directresses know so little about the lay sisters and judge them
only from appearances.
Today,
I was talking with the Lord, and He said to me, there are souls with whom I can
do nothing. They are souls that are continuously observing others, but know
nothing of what is going on within their own selves. They talk about others
continually, even during times of grand silence, which is reserved for speaking
only with Me. Poor souls, they do not hear My words, their interior remains
empty. They do not look for Me within their own hearts, but in idle talk, where
I am never to be found. They sense their emptiness, but they do not recognize their
own guilt, while souls in whom I reign completely are a constant source of
remorse to them. Instead of correcting themselves, their hearts swell with
envy, and if they do not come to their senses, they plunge in even deeper. A
heart, which thus far is envious, now begins to be filled with hate. And they
are already at the edge of the precipice. They are jealous of My gifts to other
souls, but they themselves are unable and unwilling to accept them.
To
stay at Your feet, O hidden God,
Is
the delight and paradise of my soul.
Here,
you give me to know You, O incomprehensible One,
And
You speak to me sweetly: Give Me, give Me your heart.
Silent
conversation, alone with You,
Is
to experience what heavenly beings enjoy,
And
to say to God, “I will, I will give You my heart, O Lord,”
While
You, O great and incomprehensible One, accept it graciously.
Love
and sweetness are my soul’s life,
And
Your unceasing presence in my soul.
I
live on earth in constant rapture,
And
like a Seraph I repeat, “Hosanna!”
O
You who are hidden, Body, soul and divinity,
Under
the fragile form of bread,
You
are my life from whom springs an abundance of graces;
And
for me, You surpass the delights of heaven.
When
You united Yourself with me in Communion, O God,
I
then feel my unspeakable greatness,
A
greatness which flows from You, O Lord, I humbly confess,
And
despite my misery, with Your help, I can become a saint.
During
Holy Mass, I came to know that a certain priest does not effect much in souls
because he thinks about himself and so is alone. God’s grace takes flight; he
relies on trifling external things, which have no importance in the eyes of
God; and, being proud, he fritters away his time, wearing himself out to no
purpose.
There
are moments when Jesus gives me knowledge within my soul, and then everything
that exists on earth is at my service; friends, enemies, success, adversity…
all things, willing or not, must serve me. I do not think of them at all; I
strive to be faithful to God and to love Him to the point of complete
forgetfulness of self. And He Himself looks after me and fights against my
enemies.
After
Holy Communion, when I had welcomed Jesus into my heart, I said to Him, “My
Love, reign in the most secret recesses of my heart, there where my most secret
thoughts are conceived, where You alone have free access, in the deepest
sanctuary where human thought cannot penetrate. May You alone dwell there, and
may everything I do exteriorly take its origin in You. I ardently desire, and I
am striving with all the strength of my soul, to make You, Lord, feel at home
in this sanctuary.”
I
heard these words: if you did not tie my hands, I would send down many
punishments upon the earth. My daughter, your look disarms My anger. Although
your lips are silent, you call out to Me so mightily that all heaven is moved.
I cannot escape from your requests, because you pursue Me, not from afar, but
within your own heart.
When
the soul of a certain young lady came to me one night, she made me aware of her
presence, and made known to me that she needed my prayer. I prayed for a while,
but her spirit did not leave me. Then I thought to myself, “if you are a good
spirit, leave me in peace, and the indulgences I will gain tomorrow will be for
you.” At that moment, the spirit left my room, and I recognized that she was in
purgatory.
Today
I felt the Lord’s Passion in my body more than at any other time. I felt this
was for the sake of a dying soul.
Today,
the Lord has been teaching me, once again, how I am to approach the sacrament
of Penance: My daughter, just as you prepare in My presence, so also you make
your confession before Me. The person of the priest is, for Me, only a screen.
Never analyze what sort of a priest it is that I am making use of; open your
soul in confession as you would to Me, and I will fill it with My Light.
Christ
and Lord, You are leading me over such precipices that, when I look at them, I
am filled with fright, but at the same time I am at peace as I nestle close to
Your heart. Close to Your Heart, I fear nothing. In these dangerous moments, I
act like a little child, carried in its mother’s arms; when it sees something
which menaces it, it clasps its mother’s neck more firmly and feels secure.
I
often see snares laid for me by souls who should not do so. I do not defend
myself, but entrust myself all the more to God, who sees within me. And I see
how these souls become entangled in their own snares. O God, how just and good
you are!
Write:
I am Thrice Holy, and I detest the smallest sin. I cannot love a soul which is
stained with sin; but when it repents, there is no limit to My generosity
toward it. My mercy embraces and justifies it. With My mercy, I pursue sinners
along all their paths, and My Heart rejoices when they return to Me. I forget
the bitterness with which they fed My Heart and rejoice at their return.
Tell
sinners that no one shall escape My Hand; if they run away from My Merciful
Heart, they will fall into My Just hands. Tell sinners that I am always waiting
for them, that I listen intently to the beating of their heart… when will it
beat for Me? Write, that I am speaking through their remorse of conscience,
through their failures and sufferings, through thunderstorms, through the voice
of the Church. And if they bring all My graces to naught, I begin to be angry
with them, leaving them alone and giving them what they want.
O
my Jesus, You alone know of my efforts. I seem to be a bit better, but better
only to the point that I can go out on the veranda instead of lying in bed. I
see and am fully aware of what is happening to me. Despite the diligent care of
my superiors and the efforts of the doctors, my health is fading and running
out. But I rejoice greatly at Your call, my God, my Love, because I know that my
mission will begin at the moment of my death. Oh, how much I desire to be set
free from the bonds of this body. O my Jesus, You know that, in all my desires,
I always want to see your will. Of myself, I would not want to die one minute
sooner, or to live one minute longer, or to suffer less, or to suffer more, but
I only want to do Your holy will. Although I have great enthusiasm, and the
desires burning in my heart are immense, they are never above Your will.
I
fly to Your mercy, Compassionate God, who alone are good. Although my misery is
great, and my offenses are many, I trust in Your mercy, because You are the God
of mercy; and, from time immemorial, it has never been heard of, not do heaven
or earth remember, that a soul trusting in Your mercy has been disappointed.
O
God of compassion, You alone can justify me, and You will never reject me when
I, contrite, approach Your Merciful Heart, where no one has ever been refused,
even if her were the greatest sinner.
Today
I was awakened by a great storm. The wind was raging, and it was raining in
torrents, thunderbolts striking again and again. I began to pray that the storm
would do no harm, when I heard the words: Say the chaplet I have taught you,
and the storm will cease. I began immediately to say the chaplet and hadn’t
even finished it when the storm suddenly ceased, and I heard the words: Through
the chaplet you will obtain everything, if what you ask will be compatible with
My will.
As
I was praying for Poland, I heard the words: I bear a special love for Poland,
and if she will be obedient to My will, I will exalt her in might and holiness.
From her will come forth the spark that will prepare the world for My final
coming.
Welcome,
hidden Love, life of my soul! I welcome You, Jesus, under these insignificant
forms of bread. Welcome, sweetest Mercy, who pour yourself out for souls.
Welcome, Infinite Goodness, who pour out everywhere torrents of Your graces.
Welcome, O veiled Brightness, the Light of souls. Welcome, O Fount of
inexhaustible mercy, O purest Spring from which life and holiness gush forth
for us. Welcome, Delight of pure souls. Welcome, only hope of sinful souls.
O
my Jesus, You know that there are times when I have neither lofty thoughts nor
a soaring spirit. I bear with myself patiently and admit that that is just what
I am, because all that is beautiful is a grace from God. And so I humble myself
profoundly and cry out for Your help; and the grace of visitation is not slow
in coming to the humble heart.
O
Virgin, lovely flower,
You
will not remain much longer in this world.
Oh,
how beautiful your loveliness,
My
pure Bride!
No
numbers can count you.
How
dear is your virginal flower!
Your
brightness is in no way dimmed;
It
is brave, strong, invincible.
The
very blaze of the noon-day sun
Dims,
and darkens in the presence of a virgin heart.
I
see nothing greater than virginity.
It
is a flower taken from the Divine Heart.
O
gentle virgin, fragrant rose,
Although
there are many crosses on earth,
No
eye has seen, nor has it entered into the mind of man
What
awaits a virgin in heaven.
O
virgin, snow-white lily,
You
live wholly for Jesus alone
And
in the pure chalice of your heart,
Is
a pleasing dwelling place for God Himself.
O
virgin, no one will sing your hymn.
In
your song lies hidden the love of God.
Even
the angels do not comprehend
What
the virgins sing to God.
O
virgin, your flower of paradise
Eclipses
all the splendors of this world.
And
although the world cannot comprehend you,
It
bows humble before you.
Although
the virgin’s path is strewn with thorns,
And
her life bristles with many a cross,
Who
is as brave as she?
Nothing
will break her; she is invincible.
O
virgin, earthly angel,
Your
greatness is renowned throughout the Church.
You
stand guard before the tabernacle
And,
like a Seraph, become all love.
Once
when I was on the veranda, I saw that a certain person was being troubled by
strong temptations concerning Holy Confession, doubting its secrecy. Although I
knew the condition of that soul, I myself did not start the conversation. When
we were alone, she opened her heart to me and told me everything. After talking
for a short while, she said to me, “I am at peace now; my soul has received
much light.”
Today,
Jesus made known to me that I should speak little with a certain religious
sister. A special grace of God sustained me during the conversation, which
would not otherwise have been for Gods’ glory.
The
Lord said to me, Enter into purgatory often, because they need you there. O my
Jesus, I understand the meaning of these words which You are speaking to me,
but first let me enter the treasury of Your mercy.
Write,
My daughter, that I am mercy itself for the contrite soul. A soul’s greatest
wretchedness does not enkindle Me with wrath; but rather, My Heart is moved
towards it with great mercy.
O
my Jesus, give me strength to endure suffering so that I may not make a wry
face when I drink the cup of bitterness. Help me Yourself to make my sacrifice
pleasing to You. May it not be tainted by my self-love, even though it extend
over many years. May purity of intention make it pleasing to You, fresh and
full of life. This life of mine is a ceaseless struggle, a constant effort to
do Your holy will; but may everything that is in me, both my misery and my
strength, give praise to You, O Lord.
The
Infinite Goodness of God in the Creation of the Angels.
O
God, who are happiness in Your very self and have no need of creatures to make
You happy, because of Yourself You are the fullness of love; yet, out of Your
fathomless mercy You call creatures into being and grant them a share in Your
eternal happiness and in Your life, that divine indwelling life which You live,
One God in Three Persons. In Your unfathomable mercy, You have created angelic
spirits and admitted them to Your love and to Your Divine Intimacy. You have
made them capable of eternal love. Although You bestowed on them so generously,
O Lord, the splendor of love and beauty, Your fullness was not diminished in
the least. O God, nor have their love and beauty completed You, because You are
everything in Yourself. And if You have allowed them to participate in Your
happiness and to exist and to love You, that is only due to the abyss of Your
mercy. This is Your unfathomable goodness, for which they glorify You without
end, humbling themselves at the feet of Your majesty as they chant their
eternal hymn: Holy, Holy, Holy…
Be
praised, merciful God, One God in the Holy Trinity,
Unfathomable,
infinite, incomprehensible,
Immersing
themselves in You, their minds cannot comprehend You,
So
they repeat without end their eternal: Holy.
Be
glorified, O merciful Creator of ours, O Lord,
Omnipotent,
but full of compassion, inconceivable.
To
love You is the mission of our existence,
Singing
our eternal hymn: Holy.
Be
blessed, merciful God, Eternal Love.
You
are above the heavens, the sapphires, the firmaments.
The
Host of pure spirits sings You praises,
With
its eternal hymn: Thrice Holy.
And,
gazing upon You, face to face, O God,
I
see that You could have called other creatures before them.
Therefore
they humble themselves before You in great humility,
For
well they see that this grace comes solely from Your mercy.
One
of the most beautiful spirits would not recognize Your mercy,
And,
blinded by his pride, he drew others after him.
Angel
of great beauty, he became satan
And
was cast down in one moment from heaven’s heights into hell.
Then
the faithful spirits cried, “Glory to God’s mercy!”
And
they stood firm in spit of the fiery test.
Glory
to Jesus, the Christ abased,
Glory
to His Mother, the humble and pure Virgin.
After
this battle, the pure spirits plunged into the ocean of Divinity;
Contemplating
and praising the depths of His mercy,
They
drown in His mercy and manifold light,
Possessing
in knowledge the Trinity of Persons, the Oneness of Godhead.
God’s
Infinite Goodness in Creating Mankind.
God,
who in our mercy have deigned to call man from nothingness into being,
generously have You bestowed upon him nature and grace. But that seemed too
little for Your infinite goodness. In Your mercy, O Lord, You have given us
everlasting life. You admit us to Your everlasting happiness and grant us to
share in Your interior life. And You do this solely out of Your mercy. You
bestow on us the gift of Your grace, only because you are good and full of
love. You had no need of us at all to be happy, but You, O Lord, want to share
Your own happiness with us. But man did not stand the test. You could have
punished him, like the angels, with eternal rejection, but here Your mercy
appeared, and the very depths of Your being were moved with great compassion,
and You promised to restore our salvation. It is an incomprehensible abyss of
Your compassion that You did not punish us as we deserved. May Your mercy be
glorified, O Lord, we will praise it for endless ages. And the angels were
amazed at the greatness of the mercy which You have shown for mankind…
May
You be adored, O merciful God of ours,
O
All-powerful Lord and Creator.
In
deepest humility, we give You praise,
Plunging
ourselves into the ocean of Your Godhead.
But
man did not persevere in the hour of trial.
At
the instigation of the evil one, he became unfaithful to You.
He
lost your grace and gifts; only misery was left him,
And
tears, suffering, sorrow and bitterness, until he would rest in the grave.
But
You, O merciful God, did not let humanity perish,
And
gave it the promise of a Redeemer.
You
did not let us despair, despite our grave offenses,
And
You sent Your prophets to Israel.
Still,
day and night, mankind cries out to You,
From
the abyss of misery, sin and all pain.
Hear
the moaning and the tears, You who reign in heaven,
God
of great mercy, God of compassion.
Man
erred, but he cannot ask pardon,
Because
a gaping chasm has appeared between God and man.
With
the voice of his misery, he cries out, “Mercy!”
But
Yahweh is silent… and century after century passes on.
But
the longing of all humankind grows deeper.
A
longing for Him who has been promised.
Come,
Lamb of God, take away our vile sins,
Come,
illumine our darkness like a ray of light.
Humanity
calls out to You unceasingly, O Lord of Lords,
Calls
out to Your unfathomable mercy, to Your compassion.
O
great Yahweh, grant that we may make atonement,
Remember
Your goodness, and forgive us our sins.
The
infinite Goodness of God, in sending us His Only-Begotten Son.
God,
you did not destroy man after his fall, but in Your mercy You forgave him, You
forgave in a divine way; that is, not only have You absolved him from guilt,
but You have bestowed upon him every grace. Mercy has moved You to deign to
descend among us and lift us up from our misery. God will descend to earth; the
Immortal Lord of lords will abase Himself. But where will You descend, Lord;
will it be to the temple of Solomon? Or will You have a new Tabernacle built
for Yourself? Where do You intend to come down? O Lord, what kind of tabernacle
shall we prepare for You, since the whole earth is Your footstool?
You
have indeed prepared a tabernacle for Yourself; the Blessed Virgin. Her
Immaculate Womb is Your dwelling place, and the inconceivable miracle of Your
mercy takes place, O Lord. The Word becomes flesh; God dwells among us, the
Word of God, Mercy incarnate. By Your descent, You have lifted us up to Your
divinity. Such is the excess of Your love, the abyss of Your mercy. Heaven is
amazed at the superabundance of Your love. No one fears to approach You now.
You are the God of mercy. You have compassion on misery. You are our God, and
we are Your people. You are our Father, and we are Your children by grace.
Praise be to Your mercy, that You have deigned to descend among us.
Be
adored, O God of mercy,
Because
You have deigned to descend from heaven to earth.
Most
humbly we adore You
For
Your having vouchsafed to exalt all mankind.
Unfathomable
and incomprehensible in Your mercy,
For
love of us You take on flesh
From
the Immaculate Virgin, ever untouched by sin,
Because
You have willed it so from all ages.
The
Blessed Virgin, that snow-white Lily,
Is
first to praise the omnipotence of Your mercy.
Her
pure Heart opens for the coming of the Word;
She
believes the words of God’s messenger and is confirmed in trust.
Heaven
is astounded that God has become man,
That
there is on earth a heart worthy of God Himself.
Why
is it that You do not united Yourself with a Seraph, but with a sinner, O Lord?
Oh,
because despite the purity of the virginal womb,
This
is a mystery of Your mercy.
O
mystery of God’s mercy, O God of compassion,
That
you have deigned to leave the heavenly throne
And
to stoop down to our misery, to human weakness,
For
it is not the angels, but man who needs mercy.
To
give worthy praise to the Lord’s mercy,
We
unite ourselves with Your Immaculate Mother,
For
then our hymn will be more pleasing to You,
Because
she is chosen from among men and angels.
Through
Her, as through a pure crystal,
Your
mercy was passed on to us.
Through
Her, man became pleasing to God;
Through
Her, streams of grace flowed down upon us.
God’s
Infinite Goodness in Redeeming Man.
God,
You could have saved thousands of worlds with one word; a single sigh from
Jesus would have satisfied Your justice. But You Yourself, Jesus, purely out of
love for us, underwent such a terrible Passion. Your Father’s justice would
have been propitiated with a single sigh from You, and all Your self-abasement
is solely ther work of Your mercy and Your inconceivable love. On leaving the
earth, O Lord, You wanted to stay with us, and so You left us Yourself in the
Sacrament of the Altar, and You opened wide Your mercy to us. There is no
misery that could exhaust You; You have called us all to this fountain of love,
to this spring of God’s compassion. Here is the tabernacle of Your mercy, here
is the remedy for all our ills. To You, O living spring of mercy, all souls are
drawn; some like deer, thirsting for Your love, others to wash the would of
their sins, and still others, exhausted by life, to draw strength. At the moment
of Your death on the Cross, You bestowed upon us eternal life; allowing Your
most holy side to be opened, You opened an inexhaustible spring of mercy for
us, giving us Your dearest possession, the Blood and Water from Your Heart.
Such is the omnipotence of Your mercy. From it all grace flows to us.
Be
adored, O God, in the work of Your Mercy,
Be
blessed by all faithful hearts
On
whom Your gaze rests,
In
whom dwells Your immortal life.
O
my Jesus, have mercy, sorrowful was Your life on this earth,
And
in terrible torment Your work came to an end,
Hanging
stretched out on the wood of the Cross,
And
all this for the love of our souls.
In
Your inconceivable love, You allowed Your most holy side to be opened,
And
streams of Blood and Water gushed forth from Your Heart.
Here
is the living fountain of Your mercy,
Here
souls receive consolation and refreshment.
In
the Blessed Sacrament, You left us Your mercy;
Your
love deigned to arrange it so,
That,
going through life, suffering and toil,
I
might never doubt of Your goodness and mercy.
For
even if the whole world’s miseries weighed on my soul,
We
must not doubt for even a moment,
But
have trust in the power of God’s mercy,
Because
with graciousness, God receives a contrite soul.
O
unspeakable mercy of our Lord,
Source
of compassion and all sweetness,
Trust,
trust, O soul, though you are stained by sin,
For
when you approach God, you will not taste bitterness.
Because
He is a living fire of great love,
When
we approach Him with sincerity,
Our
miseries, sins and evil deeds vanish;
He
will settle our debts when we surrender ourselves to Him.
God’s
Infinite Goodness in Adorning The Whole World with Beauty In order to Make
Man’s Stay on Earth Pleasant.
O
God, how generously Your mercy is spread everywhere, and You have done all this
for man. Oh, how much You must love him, since Your love is so active on his
behalf. O my Creator and Lord, I see on all sides the trace of Your hand and
the seal of Your mercy, which embraces all created things. O my most
compassionate Creator, I want to give You worship on behalf of all creatures
and all inanimate creation; I call on the whole universe to glorify Your mercy.
Oh, how great is Your goodness, O God!
Be
adored, O our Creator and Lord.
O
universe, humbly glorify your God;
Thank
your Creator to the best of your powers
And
praise God’s incomprehensible mercy.
Come,
O earth, in all your fine greenery;
Come,
you too, O fathomless sea.
Let
your gratitude become a loving song
And
sing the greatness of God’s mercy.
Come,
beautiful, radiant sun.
Come,
bright dawn which precedes it.
Join
in one hymn, and let your clear voices
Sing
in one accord God’s great mercy.
Come,
hills and valleys, sighing woods and thickets,
Come,
lovely flowers of morningtide;
Let
your unique scent
Adore
and glorify God’s mercy.
Come,
all you lovely things of earth,
Which
man does not cease to wonder at.
Come,
adore God in your harmony,
Glorifying
God’s inconceivable mercy.
Come,
indelible beauty of all the earth,
And,
with great humility, adore your Creator,
For
all things are locked in His Mercy,
With
one mighty voice all things cry out; how great is the mercy of God.
But
above all these beauties,
A
more pleasing praise to God
Is
a soul innocent and filled with childlike trust,
Which,
through grace, is closely bound to Him.
O
Jesus, concealed in the Blessed Sacrament of the Altar, my only love and mercy,
I commend to You all the needs of my body and soul. You can help me, because
You are mercy itself. In You lies all my hope.
[In
the original there follows a completely blank page.]
J.M.J.
Cracow-Pradnik,
June 2, 1938 Three day Retreat.
Under
the direction of Master Jesus, who Himself commanded me to make this retreat,
and who selected the days on which I was to make it; namely, the three days
preceding Pentecost and who, Himself, conducted this retreat.
However,
I asked my confessor [probably Father Andrasz] whether I could make such a
retreat, and I received his permission. I also asked Mother Superior [Irene]
and received her permission too. I had resolved that I would not make the
retreat unless I obtained the permission of the superiors. I began a novena to
the Holy Spirit, and waited for Mother Superior’s answer.
I
should be beginning the retreat today, but I have not yet received news of
Mother superiors decision. When I went to Church for the evening devotions, I
saw the Lord Jesus during the litany. My daughter, we are beginning the
retreat. I answered, “Jesus, my dearest Master, I ask Your forgiveness, but I
cannot make the retreat, because I have received no news as to whether Mother
superior allows it or not.” Do not worry, My daughter, the superior has given
her permission. You will learn of it tomorrow morning. But we are to start the
retreat today.
And
indeed, Mother superior had telephoned that evening to the sister who is
looking after me during my illness [sister David], asking her to tell me that I
was allowed to make the retreat, but the sister had forgotten to tell me. It
was only next morning that she told me, and she was very apologetic that she
had not told me the day before. I answered her, “please do not worry. I have
already started my retreat, according to the superior’s wish.”
The
First Day.
In
the evening, Jesus gave me the subject for meditation. At the first moment, my
heart was filled with fear and joy. Then I pressed myself close to His Heart,
and the fear vanished; only joy remained. I felt entirely like a child of God,
and the Lord said to me, Fear nothing. What has been forbidden to others has
been given to you. The graces that are not given to other souls to discern, not
even from a distance, nourish you every day, like the daily bread.
Consider,
My daughter, who it is to whom your heart is so closely united by the vows.
Before I made the world, I loved you with the love your heart is experiencing
today and, throughout the centuries, My love will never change.
Application.
At
the very thought of Him to whom my heart is wedded, my soul entered into profound
recollection, and the hour passed like a minute. In this state of recollection,
I came to know the attributes of God. Burning with an inner fire of love, I
went out to the garden to cool off; when I looked up at the heavens, a new
flame of love flooded my heart.
Then
I heard the words: My daughter, have you exhausted the subject I gave you? If
so, I’ll give you a new one. I answered, “O Infinite Majesty, eternity will not
be enough for me to know You… but my love for You has become more intense. As a
token of gratitude, I lay my heart at Your feet, like a rosebud. May its
fragrance delight Your Divine Heart, now and for eternity… what a paradise it
is for a soul when the heart knows itself to be so loved by God…”
Today,
you will read chapter fifteen of the Gospel of Saint John. I want you to read
it very slowly.
Second
Meditation.
My
daughter, consider the life of God which is found in the Church for the
salvation and the sanctification of your soul. Consider the use that you make
of these treasures of grace’ of these efforts of My love.
Application:
O
most compassionate Jesus, I have not always known how to profit from these
priceless gifts, because I have paid too little attention to the gift itself
and too much to the vessel in which You were giving me Your gifts. My most
sweet Master, it will be different from now on. I will put Your gifts to the
best use of which my soul is capable. Living faith will support me. Whatever
the form might be, under which You send me Your grace, I will accept it as
coming directly from You, without considering the vessel in which you send it.
If it will not always be within my power to accept it with joy, I will always
accept it with submission to Your Holy will.
Conference
on Spiritual Warfare.
My
daughter, I want to teach you about spiritual warfare. Never trust in yourself,
but abandon yourself totally to My will. In desolation, darkness and various
doubts, have recourse to Me and to your spiritual director. He will always
answer you in My name. Do not bargain with any temptation; lock yourself
immediately in My Heart and, at the first opportunity, reveal the temptation to
he confessor. Put your self-love in the last place, so that it does not taint
your deeds. Bear with yourself with great patience. Do not neglect interior
mortifications. Always justify to yourself the opinions of your superiors and
of your confessor. Shun murmurers like a plague. Let all act as they like; you
are to act as I want you to.
Observe
the rule as faithfully as you can. If someone causes you trouble, think what
good you can do for the person who caused you to suffer. Do not pour out your
feelings. Be silent when you are rebuked. Do not ask everyone’s opinion, but
only the opinion of your confessor; be as frank and simple as a child with him.
Do not become discouraged by ingratitude. Do not examine with curiosity the
roads down which I lead you. When boredom and discouragement beat against your
heart, run away from yourself and hide in My Heart. Do not fear struggle;
courage itself often intimidates temptations, and they dare not attack us.
Always
fight with the deep conviction that I am with you. Do not be guided by feeling,
because it is not always under your control; but all merit lies in the will.
Always depend upon your superiors, even in the smallest things. I will not
delude you with prospects of peace and consolations; on the contrary, prepare
for great battles. Know that you are now on a great stage where all heaven and
earth are watching you. Fight like a knight, so that I can reward you. Do not
be unduly fearful, because you are not alone.
Second
Day.
My
daughter, today consider My Sorrowful Passion in all its immensity. Consider it
as if it had been undertaken for your sake alone.
Application:
when I began to immerse myself in the Divine Passion, the great worth of the
human soul and the great evil of sin were revealed to me. I understood that I
did not know how to suffer. In order to gain merit for my suffering, I will
unite myself more closely, in suffering, to the Passion of the Lord Jesus,
asking of Him grace for dying souls, so that the mercy of God may embrace them
in this grave moment.
Second
Meditation.
My
daughter, consider the rule and the vows which you have offered to Me. You know
how highly I value them; all the graces that I have for the souls of religious
are connected with the rule and the vows.
Application:
O my Jesus, I feel guilty of many imperfections on this score but, by Your
grace, I do not recall any conscious and voluntary transgressions of the rule
of the religious vows. Continue to guard me, O my good Jesus, for of myself I
am weak.
Today,
My daughter, for your reading you shall take chapter nineteen of Saint John’s
Gospel, and read it, not only with your lips, but with your heart…
During
this reading, my soul was filled with deep repentance. I saw all the
ingratitude of creatures toward their Creator and Lord; I asked God to protect
me from spiritual blindness.
Conference
on Sacrifice and Prayer.
My
daughter, I want to instruct you on how you are to rescue souls through
sacrifice and prayer. You will save more souls through prayer and suffering
than will a missionary through his teachings and sermons alone. I want to see
you as a sacrifice of living love, which only then carries weight before Me.
You must be annihilated, destroyed, living as if you were dead in the most
secret depth of your being. You must be destroyed in that secret depth where
the human eye has never penetrated; then will I find in you a pleasing
sacrifice, a holocaust full of sweetness and fragrance. And great will be your
power for whomever you intercede. Outwardly, your sacrifice must look like
this: silent, hidden, permeated with love, imbued with prayer. I demand, My
daughter, that your sacrifice be pure and full of humility, that I may find
pleasure in it. I will not spare My grace, that you may be able to fulfill what
I demand of you.
I
will now instruct you on what your holocaust shall consist of, in everyday
life, so as to preserve you from illusions. You shall accept all sufferings
with love. Do not be afflicted if your heart often experiences repugnance and
dislike for sacrifice. All its power rests in the will, and so these contrary
feelings, far from lowering the value of the sacrifice in My eyes, will enhance
it. Know that your body and soul will often be in the midst of fire. Although
you will not feel My presence on some occasions, I will always be with you. Do
not fear; My grace will be with you…
Third
Day.
My
daughter, in this meditation, consider the love of neighbor. Is your love for
your neighbor guided by My love? Do you pray for your enemies? Do you wish well
to those who have, in one way or another, caused you sorrow or offended you?
Know that whatever good you do to any soul, I accept it as if you had done it
to Me.
Application:
O Jesus, my Love, You know that it has only been for a short while that I have
acted toward my neighbor guided solely by Your Love. You alone know of my
efforts to do this. It comes to me more easily now, but if You Yourself did not
kindle that love in my soul, I would not be able to persevere in this. This is
due to Your Eucharistic love which daily sets me afire.
Second
Meditation.
Now
you shall consider My love in the Blessed Sacrament. Here, I am entirely yours,
soul, body and divinity, as your Bridegroom. You know what love demands; one
thing only, reciprocity…
Application:
O my Jesus, You know that I desire to love You with a love that no soul has
ever before loved You with. I would like the whole world to be transformed into
love for You, my Betrothed. You feed me with the honey and milk of Your Heart.
From my earliest years, You reared me for Yourself alone, so that I would know
how to love You now. You know that I love You, because You alone know the depth
of the sacrifice I offer You each day.
Jesus
said to me, My daughter, have you any difficulties in this retreat? I answered
that I hadn’t. In this retreat, my mind is like lightning. I penetrate all the
mysteries of faith with great ease. My Master and Leader, all darkness
disappears from my mind under the ray of Your light.
Today,
for your spiritual reading, you will take the Gospel of Saint John, Chapter
twenty-one. Let it feed your heart more than your mind.
During
the June devotions, the Lord said to me, My daughter, My favor rests in your
heart. When on Holy Thursday I left Myself in the Blessed Sacrament, you were
very much on My mind.
After
these words, my love made great efforts to express to Him what He was to me,
but I was at a loss for words and burst into tears in my helplessness. And
Jesus said, For you, I am mercy itself; therefore I ask you to offer Me your
misery and this very helplessness of yours and, in this way, you will delight
My Heart.
Today,
a living flame of divine love entered my soul; if it had lasted any longer, I
would have been consumed by the fire, freeing myself from the bonds of the
present. It seemed to me that, if it had lasted an instant longer, I would have
been drowned in the ocean of love. I cannot describe these arrows of love that
pierce my soul.
Conference
on Mercy.
My
daughter, know that My Heart is mercy itself. From this sea of mercy, graces
flow out upon the whole world. No soul that has approached me has ever gone
away unconsoled. All misery gets buried in the depths of My mercy, and every
saving and sanctifying grace flows from this fountain. My daughter, I desire
that your heart be an abiding place of My mercy. I desire that this mercy flow
out upon the whole world through your heart. Let no one who approaches you go
away without that trust in My mercy which I so ardently desire for souls.
Pray
as much as you can for the dying. By your entreaties, obtain for them trust in
My mercy, because they have most need of trust, and have it the least. Be
assured that the grace of eternal salvation for certain souls in their final
moments depends on your prayer. You know the whole abyss of My mercy, so draw
upon it for yourself and especially for poor sinners. Sooner would heaven and
earth turn into nothingness than would My mercy not embrace a trusting soul.
My
resolution continues to be the same: to unite myself to Christ-Mercy.
Conclusion
of the Retreat.
Last
conversation with the Lord.
Thank
You, eternal Love, for Your inconceivable kindness to me, that You would occupy
Yourself directly with my sanctification. – My daughter, let three virtues
adorn you in a particular way: humility, purity and intention and love. Do
nothing beyond what I demand of you, and accept everything that My hand gives you.
Strive for a life of recollection so that you can hear My voice, which is so
soft that only recollected souls can hear it…
I
could not sleep until midnight today, so deeply was I stirred by tomorrow’s
renewal of vows. The greatness of God embraced my whole being.
Pentecost
[June 5, 1938]. Renewal of Vows.
I
got up how much earlier than usual and went to the chapel, steeping myself in
the love of God. Before receiving Holy Communion, I silently renewed my
religious vows. After Holy Communion, the infinite love of God swept over me.
My soul was in communion with the Holy Spirit, who is the same Lord as the
Father and the Son. His breath filled my soul with such delight that it would
be useless for me to try to give even a faint idea of what my heart experienced.
Throughout the whole day, wherever I was and regardless of with whom I talked,
a vivid presence of God accompanied me; my soul was drowned in thanksgiving for
these great graces.
When
I went out to the garden today, the Lord said to me, return to your room, for I
will be waiting for you there. As soon as I returned, I saw the Lord Jesus,
sitting at the table and waiting for me. He looked at me kindly and said, My
daughter, I want you to write now, because that walk would not have been in conformity
with My will. I remained alone and immediately got down to writing.
When
I immersed myself in prayer and united myself with all the Masses that were
being celebrated all over the world at that time, I implored God, for the sake
of all these Holy Masses, to have mercy on the world and especially on poor
sinners who were dying at that moment. At the same instant, I received an
interior answer from God that a thousand souls have received grace through the
prayerful meditation I had offered to God. We do not know the number of souls
that is ours to save through our prayers and sacrifices; therefore, let us
always pray for sinners.
Today,
in the course of a long conversation, the Lord said to me, How very much I
desire the salvation of souls! My dearest secretary, write that I want to pour
out My divine life into human souls and to sanctify them, if only they were
willing to accept My grace. The greatest sinners would achieve great sanctity,
if only they would trust in My mercy. The very inner depths of My being are
filled to overflowing with mercy, and it is being poured out upon all I have
created. My delight is to act in a human soul and to fill it with My mercy and
to justify it. My Kingdom on earth is My life in the human soul. Write, My
secretary, that I Myself am the spiritual guide of souls – and I guide them
indirectly through the priest, and lead each one to sanctity by a road known to
Me alone.
Mother
superior [Irene] visited me today, but only for a short while. When she looked
around, she said that everything was too pretty here. It is true, the sisters
are trying to make my stay in the sanatorium pleasant. But all this beauty does
not lessen my sacrifice, which God alone can see and which will cease only when
my heart stops beating. Neither the beauty of the whole earth, nor even of
heaven itself, can blur the torture of my soul, which is real at each moment
though so deeply interior. It will end when You Yourself, Author of my
suffering, say, “Enough”. There is nothing that could lessen my sacrifice.
First
Friday after Corpus Christi. June 17, 1938.
Right
away, on the Friday after Corpus Christi, I felt so unwell that I thought the
longed for moment, was approaching. I had a high fever and spat up much blood
during the night. Yet, I did go to receive the Lord Jesus in the morning, but I
could not stay for the Holy Mass. In the afternoon, my temperature dropped
suddenly to 35.8 C. I felt so weak that it was as if everything inside me were
dying. But when I steeped myself in profound prayer, I understood that it was
not yet the moment of deliverance, but only a closer call from my Bridegroom.
When
I met with the Lord, I said to Him, “You are fooling me, Jesus; You show me the
open gate of heaven, and again You leave me on earth.” The Lord said to me,
When, in heaven, you see these present days, you will rejoice and will want to
see as many of them as possible. I am not surprised, My daughter, that you
cannot understand this now, because your heart is overflowing with pain and
longing for Me. Your vigilance pleases Me. Let my word be enough for you; it
will not be long now.
And
my soul found itself one again in exile. I lovingly united myself to the will
of God, submitting myself to His gracious decrees.
The
conversations that I hear in this place about worldly matters make me so tired
that I nearly faint. The sisters who nurse me have noticed this, because it
shows outwardly.
Today,
I saw the glory of God which flows from the image. Many souls are receiving
graces, although they do not speak of it openly. Even though it has met up with
all sorts of vicissitudes, God is receiving glory because of it; and the
efforts of satan and of evil men are shattered and come to naught. In spite of
satan’s anger, the Divine Mercy will triumph over the whole world and will be
worshipped by all souls.
I
have come to know that, in order for God to act in a soul, it must give up
acting on its own; otherwise, God will not carry out His will in it.
When
a great storm was approaching, I began to say the chaplet. Suddenly I heard the
voice of an angel: “I cannot approach in this storm, because the light which
comes from her mouth drives both me and the storm.” Such was the angel’s
complaint to God. I then recognized how much havoc he was to have made through this
storm; but I also recognized that this prayer was pleasing to God, and that
this chaplet was most powerful.
I
learned that a certain soul was very pleasing to God and that, in spite of all
sorts of persecutions, God was clothing this person in a new and higher
dignity. My heart greatly rejoiced in this.
The
moments which are most pleasant to me are those when I converse with the Lord
within the center of my being. I try my very best not to leave Him alone. He
likes to be always with us…
O
Jesus, eternal God, thank You for Your countless graces and blessings. Let
every beat of my heart be a new hymn of thanksgiving to You, O God. Let every
drop of my blood circulate for You, Lord. My soul is one hymn in adoration of
Your mercy. I love You, God, for Yourself alone.
My
God, although my sufferings are great and protracted, I accept them from Your
hands as magnificent gifts. I accept them all, even the ones that other souls
have refused to accept. You can come to me with everything, my Jesus, I will refuse
You nothing. I ask You for only one thing: give me the strength to endure them
and grant that they may be meritorious. Here is my whole being; do with me as
You please.
Today,
I saw the Sacred Heart of Jesus in the sky, in the midst of a great brilliance.
The rays were issuing from the Wound in His side, and spreading out over the
entire world.
Today,
the Lord came to me and said, My daughter, help Me to save souls. You will go
to a dying sinner, and you will continue to recite the chaplet, and in this way
you will obtain for him trust in My mercy, for he is already in despair.
Suddenly,
I found myself in a strange cottage where an elderly man was dying amidst great
torments. All about the bed was a multitude of demons and the family, who were
crying. When I began to pray, the spirits of darkness fled, with hissing and
threats directed at me. The soul became calm and, filled with trust, rested in
the Lord. At the same moment, I found myself again in my own room. How this
happens… I do not know.
J.M.J.
I
felt that there is a power which is defending me and protecting me from the
blows of the enemy. It guards and defends me. I feel it very distinctly; it is
as if I am being shielded by the shadow of His wings.
My
Jesus, You alone are good. Even if my heart were to make every effort to write
of Your goodness, at least in part, I could not do so – this is beyond all our
comprehension.
One
day during Holy Mass, the Lord give me a deeper knowledge of His Holiness and
His majesty and at the same time I saw my own misery. This knowledge made me
happy, and my soul drowned itself completely in His mercy. I felt enormously
happy.
On
the following day, I had a clear awareness of the following words: “You see,
God is so Holy, and you are sinful. Do not approach Him, and go to Confession
every day.” And indeed, whatever I thought of seemed to me to be a sin. But I
did not omit going to Holy Communion, and I resolved to go to Confession at the
prescribed time, as I had no clear impediment. But when the day for confession
came, I prepared a whole mass of those sins of which I was to accuse myself.
However, in the confessional, God allowed me to accuse myself of only two
imperfections, despite my efforts to make a confession according to what I had
prepared. When I left the confessional, the Lord said to me, My daughter, all
those sins you intended to confess are not sins in My eyes; that is why I took
away your ability to tell them. I understood that satan, wanting to disturb my
peace, has been giving me exaggerated thoughts. O Savior, how great is Your
goodness!
One
day, when I was preparing for Holy Communion and noticed that I had nothing to
offer Him, I feel at His feet, calling down all His mercy upon my poor soul: “My
Your grace, which flows down upon me from Your compassionate Heart, strengthen
me for the struggle and sufferings, that I may remain faithful to You. And,
although I am such misery, I do not fear You, because I know Your mercy well.
Nothing will frighten me away from You, O God, because everything is so much
less than what I know Your mercy to be – I see that clearly.
[Here ends the sixth and last Notebook]